


morning comes quick bringing tragic goodbyes (nothing ever really dies, right?)

by hitmewiththatmarkhyuck



Series: Sing of the Moon [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Birthday, Car Accidents, Don't Try This At Home, Heavy Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Lee Taeyong Needs a Hug, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Suicide, Triggers, Underage Drinking, Voicemail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 21:06:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15782124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hitmewiththatmarkhyuck/pseuds/hitmewiththatmarkhyuck
Summary: Taeyong just wanted someone to talk to. Was that so much to ask for?Or taeyong is struggling just to live, and words hurt.Inspired by Sing of the Moon by The Collection





	morning comes quick bringing tragic goodbyes (nothing ever really dies, right?)

**Author's Note:**

> Please read this cautiously, I don't want any of you to get hurt. Contact me on Instagram (zhangyixingownsmyass) if you ever need to talk!!!
> 
> While reading, please listen to "Sing of the Moon" by The Collection to set the mood.

**_I’ve always been told we hold black holes inside_ **

_12:30 AM_

_"Hey Yuta, it's Taeyong. I know you don't want to talk, and that's okay. I just wanted to let you know that I love you, so, so much. I know what I did was wrong, and I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry I did that to you, and I would turn back time and fix it if I could. I'm not going to make any excuses, or brush away what I did. I'm trying to get better. I called the rehab center, and they said I've been accepted into their program. It's a start, I guess. I lo-"_

_BEEP_

**_They know from the start that every star must die_ **

_12:01 AM_

_"Hey Yuta, it's me again. I just called to let you know that I'm going to rehab in a month! ....... I... I really, really miss you and I wish you were here to celebrate with me, but I understand that you are busy and don't want to see me. It's been a long two weeks without you. I-..... I'm running out of time to talk, but I just wanted to say I love you still, so much that it hurts. Goodby-"_

_BEEP_

**_But it seems too convenient to lose track of time_ **

_12:45 AM_

_"Hey, it's me. Donghyuck and Jeno have been asking about you. Wondering where you've been. Brothers, huh? They just turned 9 last Tuesday. Time certainly flies by, huh? Remember when you first met them? They were five and were so, so curious...... It's time to go to the center in three weeks. I wish yiu could be there to wish me farewell. I'm trying to get better. I... I just-"_

_BEEP_

**_Now that you’re gone, will my orbit unwind?_ **

_3:15 AM_

_"Hey Yuta. It's only been two days since I left the last voicemail, but I just really needed to hear your voice.... Did you- Did you hear about... My family? They uh- they got into a car accident yesterday, and uh... J-jeno, he- he didn't make it. Mom's still in surgery. Damn sea-seatbelts, huh?...... I miss you, and I wish you were here, but it's okay. I understand. Just know that i-"_

_BEEP_

**_What northern wind blew us into the street_ **

_10:43 AM_

_"Hey Yuta. I'm sorry. I've cancelled heading to the rehab center. My family needs me right now. I'm so sorry. I know you'd want me to go. I just- wanted to let you know. I love you. Bye."_

_BEEP_

**_And what fatal one will we all someday meet?_ **

_10:51 PM_

_"Hey Yuta, I'm missing you like hell right now. Mom's almost out of surgery. They think she'll make it. I'm really hoping she will. She's in pretty bad condition, but they think she'll make it at least to a comatose state. I haven't slept well since it happened. I miss you so much, and- MOM?!? WHAT IS HAPP-"_

_BEEP_

**_Swept into a palace with no sign of a king_ **

_11:30 PM_

_"Hey. It's been three days since- the funeral for them is on the 12th, just in case you wanted to come. On the bright side, my birthday is in fifteen days. My first birthday without you since- I have to go, I'm so sorry, I just- I can't. Love you, bye."_

_BEEP_

**_No court for us jesters, but we like to_ **

_12:57 AM_

_"So I've decided that I'm going to do a countdown til my birthday. Just in case you forgot. I've been- I've been having bad thoughts lately. They scare me, and I really need you. I just wish you would call me back, talk to me, I don't know. Just- something other than this. Anyway, it's fourteen days away- my eighteenth! I wish I was young again."_

_BEEP_

**_Sing of the moon as it sometimes gets shy_ **

_11:46 AM_

_"My birthday is in thirteen days. I don't want it to happen. I miss Jeno. And Mom. So much so that it fucking kills me. He was only 9. It should have been me, but I insisted on him taking the left side. Fuck. I- I don't want to cry anymore. I miss you too much, my love. Yuta, you're breaking my heart. I know I hurt you, but they were drunken words that I didn't mean. I know telling you that you're useless is horrible, and it was, but it's been too long. I need you. I- I don't know if I can live without you. I love you-"_

_BEEP_

**_Running from lovers through starry-eyed skies_ **

_3:18 AM_

_"Dad has locked himself away with his whiskey and old love letters from Mom. I think he's taking up my profession. Donghyuck has been sleeping on Jeno's bed. I can't bring myself to go in there yet. Twelve days. Twelve days until I'm eighteen. Wow. I love you so much, and you still mean the world to me. Goodbye."_

_BEEP_

**_Morning comes quick bringing tragic goodbyes_ **

_4:52 AM_

_"The funeral was today- or yesterday, I guess. Time has blurred together without you. I saw Mom in her casket- Jeno's was closed, for obvious reasons. Mom was so beautiful. She was wearing the dress she was going to wear to my graduation...... Eleven days until my birthday! It saddens me. Jeno always loved eating leftover cake. We're not having a party for me this year. I have to go. I l-"_

_BEEP_

**_Nothing ever really dies, right?_ **

_8:30 PM_

_"Hey Yuta, I'm at our spot. Where we first met. They've long since bulldozed the ice cream shop, but I can still see the lake we sat by that day. Remember when you got stung by that wasp? And Doyoung screamed at it? I miss those days. I miss you. My birthday is in ten days. I'm going to enjoy my time here, for I don't have much left. Love you"_

_BEEP_

**_Someone’s lighting candles all over my floor_ **

_5:01 AM_

_"I can't find the locket Mom gave me. I've been searching since twelve, but it's nowhere here. I think I left it at your house. Keep it and remember me. You'll need it. Nine days until I'm legal in Canada. Mark always wanted to bring me there, said the snow was beautiful. I was planning a trip to Osaka with you when you left me. I was going to bring you for your birthday, thought it would be special. I guess not. Love you-"_

_BEEP_

**_And placed “holy of holy’s” through every door_ **

_12:46 AM_

_"I wish you were here. I've been having scary thoughts, but they're the only things that will comfort me at the moment. I thought I could trust you to do that, but I was wrong. Eight days. I miss you. Bye"_

_BEEP_

**_But who are our doubts said to?_ **

_1:18 AM_

_"Donghyuck came into my room tonight to snuggle, had a nightmare. He's sleeping right now. He asked about you, and I cried. He hugged me. I miss the way you used to hug me. I felt safe and secure. Now I'm empty, wallowing in thoughts so dark that Mom would have turned on a light. My birthday is exactly a week away. Seven whole days. Time flies, huh? Love you, bye."_

_BEEP_

**_Some half of the evening knew, of listening ears long withdrew?_ **

_11:27 PM_

_"I miss our 11:11 wishes together. I wished for you, tonight. Did you wish for me to be gone? You probably did. I had a dream of Mom. She stroked my head and it felt so, so real. It wasn't. I cried. My Mom would have wanted to be at my eighteenth. Six days, huh?... I went into Jeno's room, and laid down in his bed. It still smelt of him. Marshmallows and everything."_

_BEEP_

**_So we sing of the moon and the face that it hides_ **

_12:02 AM_

_"Mom used to tell me this story, about how a beautiful woman went to the river and drowned in her own beauty. Mom was truly beautiful, and maybe that's why she died so young. I don't know. My birthday is in five days. I don't know if I'll make it. I'm so incredibly weak at the moment. I miss you. I love you."_

_BEEP_

**_Shining just half of its truth to our skies_ **

_1:38 AM_

_"Jeno made me a macaroni art picture when he was in first grade. He told me he loved me and said it was a picture of me. I threw it away the day after. I should have kept it. I miss it incredibly right now. Four days. I miss you."_

_BEEP_

**_But bring me the sun that gives it all its light_ **

_12:12 AM_

_" It's three days away. I miss everyone I've lost recently, including you, but I think I'm going to make it. I'm gonna make it to eighteen. I promise. I'm hopeful. Today was fairly uneventful. Nothing happened. I love you. Bye"_

_BEEP_

**_I don’t want to just wait to die_ **

_2:13 AM_

_"I almost forgot to call you. My thoughts have been holding me hostage. I've tried everything to get my mind off of you, but nothing works. I just want to go back to how my life was before everything. I don't think I'll make it. Two days is too long. I miss you, I'm sorry. Love you, goodbye."_

_BEEP_

**_Alright_ **

_12:01 AM_

_"I was wrong. I made it. One minute is enough. I'm so sorry for what is about to happen, it's just all been too much. I finished my letter just now. I've been going through the things from our relationship, and I remember how much fun it was. Remember going to the lake every Thursday? Or when you'd text me goodnight? I remember when we were fifteen and we went to the waterfall on my birthday and I confessed. Happy anniversary, by the way. It's been a wonderful (almost) three years. You were everything I could dream of.-"_

_BEEP_

_12:10 AM_

_"Sorry. I got cut off. As I was saying, you've been the best person to love and the most beautiful to lose. I'm glad I met you, in all your glory. All I ask, is for you to not blame yourself. This was bound to happen, it just happened a little quicker and quieter than I expected. I told my dad and Donghyuck that I love them. For the last time. They didn't know that, but they will in the morning. I guess it already is, though.-"_

_BEEP_

_12:20 AM_

_"Got cut off again. But like I said, don't hate yourself. Live a long, happy life with someone who will treat you better than I ever did. I left some stuff on my bed, memorabilia, I guess, for you. I'm glad you stayed with me as long as you did. I'll miss you so much. I love you, and goodnight. For the last time. Goodbye, my universe."_

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

_BEEEEEEEEEE-_

 

1:30 PM

"At 12:30 this morning, a teenage boy by the name of Lee Taeyong committed suicide. The coroner said he hung himself with a necktie from his balcony. In other news-"

I dropped my duffel, reaching into my pocket for my phone. I called Taeyong's mother, but got no response. It was then I went into my voicemails and clicked on his name.

"Sent at 12:30 AM.

' _Hey Yuta, it's Taeyong. I know you don't want to talk, and that's okay.-'"_

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [morning comes quick bringing tragic goodbyes (or does it?)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787710) by [hitmewiththatmarkhyuck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hitmewiththatmarkhyuck/pseuds/hitmewiththatmarkhyuck)




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